Changes
by Stefania Mo
Summary: Poor Poor Harry, at eleven years old lots of things in his life changed. He Goes from a lovely little boy to being a headless zombie then to... Read to find out more of this pathetic tale! OOC SLASH!
1. A strole in the zoo OH NO AN EVIL TURTLE

**Well it's the middle of the night. I have not edited this at all, trust me, its almost one in the morning. Well I hope you enjoy it…. Animal lovers might not but hey, its supposed to be funny!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry and I don't own a turtle….and I dont have Zombie parents either thats just odd**

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One sunny day Harry Potter and his Parents were at the Zoo. His parents, unfortunately, were zombies that were just trying to get Harry to die so they would be a happy zombie family, but that wasn't working out that well.

"Mummy! Daddy! Lookit! They're having a turtle petting session!" Little Harry giggled and ran towards the turtles.

"ggrrahhhhggghhhhh" said Lily

"mmeehhhhgghhhhh" James said a little too fast. Now if you spoke Zombian you would understand it like this:

"Don't go too far son!" said lily

"Lily, lets go shag in the loo" James said a little too fast. I think, as the narrorator, that I should not edit what they say from this moment on because of the poor souls that don't want to see Zombies shag. Anyways back to Harry.

Harry was visiting a part of the exhibit where they had the huge turtles. Now Harry not knowing anything at the current moment, tried to jump in with the turtles out of excitement. But the mean old zoo keeper wouldn't let our Harry die at the age of five. He cought him jumping and whipped him fifty times across the legs.

"raaaaaghhhhhhhhhhmeh!" screamed zombie Lily.

"nnnaaaaaghhh. Mehhgonnagh!" said James

But once again, Harry just giggled and ran towards the turtles that you could pet. Now the nice animal control man working with the smaller turtles let Harry hold one of them.

"Here you go little sexy piece of meat!" he said, but Harry being a retarded kid just giggled and took the turtle that was being offered to him and he started petting it.

"Mummy! The turtle is nice come and pet it!" but Lily just stradeled James. Harry giggled and continued to pet the turtle. The turtle was getting mad. All it did day after day was get pat. He tried to fly away, but it didn't work.

_Ze fucking kid vont let me go! _It said.

Suddenly, all the turtles sprung up at Harry and snapped his head off.

"yghhhhhhnighehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhh!" Lily exclaimed with joy.

"YYYYYYYYGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHH!" James felt so pround. The Zombie family walked away together and started to kill anyone that looked at them. They were a happy family though until Harry turned eleven and got his Hogwarts letter…

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**DUN DUN DUN! Tune in next time for Zombie Harry Potter attacks Hogwarts!**


	2. The Lion, the head, and the solution

**Well, it seems that I only got one fcking review! YOU WANKRS! Haha. God I see how you all are. Twelve of you people out there have read it, but only one fcking review! HOW DARE YOU! Well I hope you guys like this next chapter. I have no idea why I wrote this story, trust me.**

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Harry Potter was frolicking in his back yard at Godrics Hollow. He was a happy zombie now. He knew that he couldn't die so that was far off from his worries. Although his body could stop working, and he would be dead forever. As he realized this he stopped eating the dirt that Lily laid out in the garden and started sobbing.

"wahhhh wahhhhhhhhh Mummy I will never be able to be a real boy again!" he sobbed to his mother in Zombian. "I want to be real again!"

"Well son," James stepped out of their house. "I have something that might cheer you up a little bit!" He handed him a letter. Harry tried to look down at it, but he had no eyes. Actually he has no mouth either. So his parents have no idea how he can talk.

"WOW DAD I HAVE MY HOGWARTS LETTER!" Came Harry's voice from his neck. "I CANT WAIT TO GO!" but he thought about it for a moment. If he can't read, and no one can understand him, how will he communicate with his fellow students? Everyone will stare at him, and he would never know it! He wouldn't be able to see where he was going and he would run into everyone there. "MUMMY, DADDY! I DON'T WANNA GO TO HOGWARTS!" screamed Harry's neck. "I'M A FALURE!"

"Oh now Harry it wont be all _that_bad." Cooed Lily.

"Yes son, you might make some good friends!" James slapped him on the back and Harry fell over.

"But Daddy, Mummy, I just got used to walking around this house" Harry's neck whined. "It will take me forever to get around Hogwarts on my own!" James helped him up.

"Son! We can get you a new head!" he yelled, "Just relax and we'll figure this out!" James went back to the house and slammed the door behind him. Harry was very confused.

"Mummy," he asked Lily, "Where is Daddy going to?" he sat on the ground.

"He went down to his secret lab to work on getting you a head!" exclaimed Lily, "Who knows, If he finds you a cure, he might be able to turn us all back into regular people again!" Harry's neck randomly shot out a squirt of blood, like clock work his neck did this once every hour. For ten minutes each hour his neck became a fountain. It attracted many woodland animals such as wolves and coyotes.

This time, it attracted a random mountain lion. The lion attacked him from behind, ripping out a chunk of his back. "MUMMY HELP ME HELP!" His neck screamed for his mother.

"HARRY!" She yelled. "JAMES COME QUICK! HE HAS A LION ON HIS BACK!" James ran out side again with moldy pop corn.

"Well c'mon dear! Let's watch the show before it ends!" he sat in a lawn chair, followed by Lily. The lion ripped off one of Harry's legs. "Well, Lily dear, I have come up with a way for him to get his head back."

"RAWR!" growled the lion.

"Really dear?" Lily inquired. "Well I hope you can get his head back soon!"

"Well I can, but it will take a while, he has to grow it back." James ate a handful full of popcorn.

"Do you think you can get his whole body back? Ours too?" Lily's dead eyes shined with tears.

"I might be able to dear, I just might." They started kissing. Meanwhile, Harry's neck stopped squirting blood and his leg had beaten the lion to death. Lily and James broke apart as Harry sewed his leg back on. "Lily dear! look! Dinner for tonight! Thanks son I didn't know what we were going to do tonight!"

"Welcome dad." His neck said back. They all smiled (except for Harry.)

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**OH my fcking god this is horrible! Haha but its so much fun to write! Well PLEASE CLICK THE PURPLE BUTTON AND LEAVE A REVIEW! Or maybe the lion will come back to life and rip YOUR leg off! Muahahahaa! o.O**


	3. The Fuzz

**Ahh sorry that I did not update last night, I sadly did not have access to a computer. You know how that is. You really want to update, then BAM no computer. Well I would like to say is, is PLEASE IF YOU'RE READING THIS, LEAVE A REVIEW FOR GODS SAKE! §cough§ well, enjoy this chapter and the next.**

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It has been a week since the lion incident, but James' potion for Harry was complete.

"Ok now Harry," James said to his son. "I'm going to pour this down your throat. It might burn a little bit but we still have to do it." With out any further warning he poured the potion down Harry's throat. Flames came out of the hole. James' eyebrows set on fire, but he couldn't feel it.

Once the flames stopped Harry was able to speak.

"Dad! Why did I spit out fire?" Harry questioned.

"Honestly?" James rose an eye brow, well where there was supposed to be anyway. Harry bent his neck in an odd position that seemed like he was nodding his head. "I have no idea why. Maybe it was some weird side effect. Now you just go lay down on the couch up stairs." Harry ran up stairs and James could head the couch creak. "Now all we have to do is wait."

Lily burst through the door to the basement. "JAMES!" she screamed. "COME QUICK! HIS HEAD ISNT BACK YET BUT GUS SKIN IS TURNING BACK TO ITS ORIGIONAL COLOR! ANS HIS LEG RECONNECTED ITS SELF!"

James sprung out of his chair and limped up the stairs and Looked around the corner at where the couch was. Indeed Harry was pale again, and his leg had re sewn its self back on, the stitches popping out. But the chunk was still not there and it just looked like some one had sewn his skin over his open throat.

"Dad I cant speak that well." Came the sound of Harry's voice, muffled. James just stared at his son, his mouth wide open.

"Harry, I can't help you that well." He managed to say. "But the potion won't take any longer then a month or two, then you will have your head back and also whatever part of your back is missing because of the Lion. James looked at the stove and saw that the leftover Lion meat for the Fajitas was done, He turned the stove off. "Lily dear!" he called down the stairs "Dinner is ready!" She came up the stairs with some IV equipment. James gave her a quick kiss.

"I think Harry has to survive with these for a while, at least until he gets his head back." She went over to him and hooked him up to the IV. "Harry just keep this in until the beeper goes off. You'll only need this for a month or so." James put all the food for them on the table. "So, Hun." Lily said as she sat down. "Do you think the potion will work for us too?" James fixed himself a fajita.

"I don't really know Lily. It might. We just need to see how long it takes for Harry, and how well it works too." He took a bite of the fajita. Just then Harry started having a seizure. "HOLY FUCK!" the food dropped out of James' mouth. Lily screamed and ran over to her son, just in time to see a patch of black fuzz sprout out of the top of his neck/stub. Lily and James looked at each other in complete shock.

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**REVIEW DAMMIT!**


	4. Bowie?

**Well…. §raises eyebrows§ I see that no one is really reading my stupid story…. Fine. Be that way. I see how you all are. You were prolly expecting a perfect story that wasn't so stupid. WELL FCK YOU! Haha §cough§ please review….. . **

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"Mummy!" Harry's voice was heard through out the house. Lily, who was in the living room, dropped the book she was reading and screamed. She ran to Harry's room, to see a mouth near the black fuzz that he had grown a week ago.

"Oh my God!" she cried. "JAMES! COME QUICK!" she ran out of his room and to the basement door "JAMES TURN THAT GOD FORSAKEN MUSIC OFF!" she tried to fly down the stairs, but tripped on them instead, falling down to the bottom and knocking a shelf over. She looked at James, who was dancing like a maniac." Harry has grown a mouth!" she waltzed over to his stereo and turned it off.

"Lily!" James jumped up. "I didn't hear you come down the stairs…" he shuffled some papers around. "I was just working on the potion for us-"

"Bull, you were listening to Bowie again, fantasizing about him." She took out the CD from the player and read it. She smirked. "Oh yes, you were fantasizing about him all right. What were you thinking of? Hot gay sex on the beach again?"

"n-no…" James looked over at the caldron. "I was actually waiting for the smoke to turn that red." He busied himself with it, putting the papers down. Lily picked the top sheet up and read it aloud.

"Bowie, how I love Bowie. Bowie is the greatest thing in the world. God I wish I could meet Bowie, have his hands all over me travel-"

"STOP!" James yelled. He grabbed the paper out of Lily's hands. "This is privet stuff! You can't read it! Or tell any one about it!" he put the papers into a box and closed it, locking it with a combination. "Please Lily, don't tell anyone." He turned back to the potion and added more ingredients.

"Why would I tell anyone your secrets, James?" Lily asked politely. He turned around again and glared at her.

"Well for one, back in school, you found out that I'm bisexual, _and told anyone that would listen!_" Lily looked at him oddly.

"Are you still? Should I be wor-"

"You know what, just forget about this conversation. Let's move on to another topic, one that doesn't involve what me, Sirius, and Remus do-did! I mean did!" Lily just sniggered.

"You're right, what you _did_. Remember, we've been dead for ten years." James' face fell. "Well anyway, what are you putting in this potion exactly?"

"Really, it's just the same potion that I made Harry, except I'm adding some newt eyes." He felt relived that Lily changed the subject. "Minced up of course for easy swallowing. I'm hopping this time there will be no flames." He grabbed Lily's hands and looked into her eyes. "Just think of what we could do if this potion was successful. People would be able to stay alive longer. They could do more things then they thought they could do in one life time, because they could live two. Now the sad thing is, is that we will die, and a new one of us will grow in a month or so, I think the best time to take this is when we send Harry to Hogwarts next week. That would be the best time." His eyes brightened. "Just think of the possibilities." Lily looked at him, trying to keep a straight face. "What…" she suddenly burst.

"YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH A PANSY!" she fell to the floor laughing.

"Lily! I was trying to be serious!"

"I'm s-s-sorry James! Its just t-to funny!" she continued to roll on the floor. He picked her up.

"Well for that, you will become my personal bed slave for the rest of the night."

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**hehe REVIEW!**


	5. The Urge

**Well hellooooo. §evil laughter§ I see that, once again, only FCKING friends are reviewing. I see how you strangerish people are. You think that my brain is messed up, dontcha? yes you do! Quit lying! WNKERS! Oh welll ppplleeeasssseeee review this damn thing!**

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It has officially been a month since Harry Potter had that unfortunate accedent with the mob of turtles. He was now off to Hogwarts, healthy, alive, and with a head. The only thing different was a scar on his forehead that looked like it spelt "You Wanker"

"I am so proud of you young man!" Lily said to him, kissing his forehead. "You're off to Hogwarts now!" James ran up the stairs with two shot glasses full of his and Lily's potion.

"Dearest, we just have to let this set for an hour or two before we drink it!" he unfortunatly, slipped and the potion spilled everywhere. "BLOODY HELL!" Lily threw him a dirty look.

"Watch your mouth around Harry, James!" he grumbled and went to get a rag to wipe up the mess. Lily turned back to Harry. "Now, you be a good boy while you're at Hogwarts, don't get into trouble of any sort. Use that make up that I told you about to cover up your scar, it is very offencive to most people."

"Okay, Mum" Harry had his fingers crossed behind his back. James finished whiping up the spilt potion.

"It was very unfortunate that you had that scar left, Harry" he lied. "Now go and finish packing, the cab will be here in a few minutes." He went back down stairs and filled up two new shot glasses. _I hope this does work... I prommised Lily last night that I was going to test it before we drank it, but I didn't, whats the worst that could happen? We could die again? _he continued to ponder as he went back upstairs and set the glasses down on the kitchen counter. A horn honked outside.

"HAAAAAAARRY!" Lily yelled down the hall, "THE CAB'S HERE!" Harry ran out the door, not muttering a word to his parents. "Well...that was a nice way to say goodbye 'I love you mum, dad, Ill see you next year!'" she opened a window and yelled out to Harry. "WANKER!" he just looked back at her and got into the cab. Lily sighed and went into the kitchen for the rest of the old, smelly, moldy lion meat. James snuck up behind her.

"sad that you have to watch Harry go off to school?" Lily closed the fridge.

"SAD? SAD? IM FUCKING JOYUS! HES FINALLY OUT OF THE HOUSE! WE CAN HAVE SEX ON ANY SERFACE AND WE DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HIM WALKING IN ON US!" she pushed him onto the floor. "I may be dead, but I'm still fucking horny!" she whispered in his ear. James' eyes widened. He was about to go along with the plan, but thought about the potion again.

"No, Lily." He crawled out from underneath her. "The potion is done cooling off now, we can drink it now. Then think! We can have better sex!" She scrambeled off the floor and grabbed one of the shot glasses.

"Really?" she eyed him.

"Really, hun." She tilted her head back and swallowed. James got up, grabbed a glass and did the same. "Well atleast we don't have flames comming out of our throats. But instead of that happening, the fire went through their bodies, crisping them, leaving two wombs in their stead.

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**Well...hehehehheheheheheh I hoped you liked that chapter, probaly not since NO ONE IS FCKING READING THIS! DAMN YOU ALL! §pats my faithful readers and hands them LOTS of chhhhhhhhhoooooocolate!§**


	6. Comming Out

**yes, I just posted a while ago. You all proboly hate me, dont you? YES YOU DO DONT LIEEEEEE!**

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About a week after Harry rode on the Hogwarts express, he was already the most famous, but unpopular kid in the school. He was known for his scar most of all. Everyone hated him becase of it. Would you like it is people walked around with the words "you wanker" written across their forehead? I bet not. Not to mention that all the teachers were wondering about his true nature behind his back. But Dumbledore was the same old guy that loves all muggle-borns and people that have special needs.

"So, Harry. What can I do for you?" Dumbledore asked Harry one day after a terrible case of being laughed at.

"Well, Ron, the redhead, he's making fun of me again. It's not fair. I didn't ask for this scar. Hell, I didn't know about it until a few weeks after..." Harry stated. "I mean to say that this whole ordeal has made me very self-consious. But there is another problem..." Dumbledore leaned in closer.

"Harry, you can tell me anything, I promise I dont tell anyone about what is said in here." Harry gulped.

"IM IN LOVE WITH RON! IM A FUCKING FAG!" he broke down and started sobbing.

"Thats ok Harry, we all have inner gayness" Dumbledore stood up and went to his very long and complicated looking bookself "I think I have the right book for you." He produced it and threw it at the back of Harrys poor head.

"Ok hand it to me." Harry turned around and looked at Dumbedore. He saw that he was wanking. "OH MY GOD!" Harry looked down and saw the book A beginners guide to Homosexuality By: Sirius Black. "wow thanks Professor Dumbledore!" he ran out of the office, leaving a compleatly horny old fart behind.

Harry headed to his common room where he could read this book alone. Unfortunately Ron was in the room when he walked in.

"Oh great..." Harry mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Harry looked down at the floor and hid the book behind his back.

"n-nothing Weasley." Harry opened his trunk and went to put the book in there but Ron grabbed it before he could slip it in there.

"Lets see what you're reading." He looked down at the title. "Oh my god, we have a fag living with us!" He ran down into the common room to show everyone. Harry could hear his voice. "LOOK EVERYONE! WE HAVE A FAG!" People started yelling random things and laughing. But fortunatly for Harry the Weasley twins saw it all from atop the stairs.

"RON!" Fred yelled, "HOW DARE YOU!" of course, they didnt know that Harry was gay, they themselves were gay, and lovers. "We told you! We thought you would never tell anyone! George, dear, lets go to the library and write a howler to our poor poor mother about a transplant!" Harry heard the portriat slam shut as the twins left. He came down the stairs.

"You... you...how _dare_ you announce this to the whole house!" He started sobbing. He grabbed the book from Ron and ran out of the portriat, following the twins to the LIbrary. Once he got there he seeked them out. They were sitting in a corner, making out. Harry just stared, having his own fantisies like his dad. But he quickly snapped out of it and made lots of noise while he went over to them. "hello." He sat down with them. They just glared.

"Judgemental are you?" George sneered. Fred got out a pice of parshment and a quill. "Want to make a few wise cracks about us? We know your kind _Potter_." Harry just gulped.

"I'm going through a rough time right now." He manged to say. "I'm new to this school... and em... I would just like to say this now." He paused "I'm like you I-"

"Bullshit" Fred said, not lifting his head up from the paper. Harry ignored him.

"'m gay, like you two." He looked at them. Fred looked up from his letter

"No way" he said. "no fucking way!" Fred grabbed Harry by the necktie and planted his lips on his. Harry was shocked at first, this being his first kiss, and by a guy no less, but he enjoyed it. They broke apart. "George, lets go show Harry _our_ side of Hogwarts." They stood up. "Come on Potter you're in for the best time of your life!" The three walked out of the library.

"Now, what you are about to find out, no one really knows." Georges told Harry, Wrapping his arm around his waist. "Lots of people in this school are homosexual, they just dont know how to show it. Take Draco Malfoy for example, hes gay and We've just known him a week." Harry was confused.

"How do you know that the people are gay though?" Fred giggled.

"Oh Harry, Harry, Harry." he held Georges hand. "You have alot to learn."

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**WELL THEN! Harry came out! yes! We all love an honest gay man! And for the George/Fred thing §sigh§ I'm sorry for all the people who dont support twincest. I dont either but it just fit perfectly. I mean come on! TWINCEST! Its like making out and fucking YOURSELF IN THE ASS! God... §rambles on and on§ oh review!**


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